Infertility is one of the most heart wrenching things a couple can experience. It's out of your control. Even when you try to take control, it doesn't guarantee you success. We tried for 23 months to get pregnant after Olivia. 23. That's 23 negative pregnancy tests for a normal person, and about 148 negative tests for me. I always tested too early and way too much! Those 23 months consisted of 2 different clinics, 4 different doctors, thousands of miles traveled, several different medicines/steroids/booster shots, lots of ultrasounds, countless blood work, 2 double IUIs, and a miscarriage.
On May 12, 2013, Mother's Day, we were scheduled to go in for another IUI. I remember all the nurses telling me that morning that it would work this time... this was it, because it was Mother's Day. I had my doubts but I was hopeful! And guess what?
It worked.
All I thought about today was how thankful I am for my two daughters. I remember so vividly what it's like to wonder if I'll ever have another baby, and my heart aches for my friends that are still struggling through it. Every time I glanced at Charlotte today, on this Mother's Day, I smiled.
It's so hard to accept it while we're in the midst of a struggle, whether it's infertility or something else, but I always clung to this verse. Even when I didn't really want to. One morning I woke up and checked my emails and found this devotional from Drew. It was exactly what I needed to hear. It applied then and it still applies now, but to different aspects of my life. Funny how God's Word can do that!
Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he
shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord
-Psalm 27:14
Strength And Encouragement
The blind poet John Milton, a devout Christian, famously observed: "they also serve who only stand and wait." This kind of service-the service of patiently waiting on God's timing, on God's direction, on God's plan-can be the most difficult and grueling to render to God.
We are tempted, in a time of uncertainty or calamity, to rush to our own set of solutions; we might even feel irresponsible to simply wait prayerfully for the Lord to give clear direction. And yet we must.
Twice the command is repeated in this single verse: wait. Our answers are usually not the right answers. Our instincts cannot be trusted. Our hurried assessment will doubtless yield an inadequate response. So, dear believer, wait.
Wait on the Lord because he will strengthen your heart. He will answer your prayers. He will give the direction you need. He will send the help you require. In his own good time and in his right way, God will come to you when you wait on him.
So be of good courage! Do not despair because the solution has not presented itself yet. Do not presume that God will not keep his appointments. He has promised to strengthen you, so wait, I say, on the Lord.
The blind poet John Milton, a devout Christian, famously observed: "they also serve who only stand and wait." This kind of service-the service of patiently waiting on God's timing, on God's direction, on God's plan-can be the most difficult and grueling to render to God.
We are tempted, in a time of uncertainty or calamity, to rush to our own set of solutions; we might even feel irresponsible to simply wait prayerfully for the Lord to give clear direction. And yet we must.
Twice the command is repeated in this single verse: wait. Our answers are usually not the right answers. Our instincts cannot be trusted. Our hurried assessment will doubtless yield an inadequate response. So, dear believer, wait.
Wait on the Lord because he will strengthen your heart. He will answer your prayers. He will give the direction you need. He will send the help you require. In his own good time and in his right way, God will come to you when you wait on him.
So be of good courage! Do not despair because the solution has not presented itself yet. Do not presume that God will not keep his appointments. He has promised to strengthen you, so wait, I say, on the Lord.
So today I thank God!
I thank Him for bringing me through the struggle.
I thank Him for blessing me with a faithful husband who stands strong even when I have doubts.
I thank Him for my beautiful, sweet, kind-hearted, imaginative Olivia Ellis.
And I thank Him for my adorable, snuggly, precious little Charlotte Emily who I thought I would never have.
This has been a wonderful Mother's Day!
Thanks for posting this, Megan. It's been 18 months for us. Waiting on God's timing is hard, confusing, emotional and so much more. You have a beautiful family! :)
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