Guilty

Terrible, awful, deadly tornadoes tore through Arkansas last night claiming many victims. Many lost their homes and some lost their lives. I knew that. It was sad. I even helped organize a donation drop-off for our church so we can take the supplies next week to those people affected by the tornadoes. But it hadn't hit me yet... not fully.

Tonight didn't exactly go how I wanted it to. I thought we could have a nice relaxing evening together as a family before Drew leaves to go out of town for several days. I even thought about getting crazy and painting my fingernails! But instead, I spent the night trying to calm an unusually fussy baby. Incessant crying does crazy things to your mind. You can go from happy to down right irritated in about 6 seconds flat. So by the time I finally got to bed, I was just flustered and frustrated. I pulled my phone out to catch up on all the Facebook drama, and I got a reality check.

My newsfeed was full of stories and pictures of the families who had lost loved ones in the tornado. One large family lost a father and two daughters, leaving the mother to raise the remaining seven children on her own. Another family lost their two young sons while the parents held on to life in critical condition. I just wondered do they even know yet? What would that be like to wake up and realize your whole world is gone? A middle aged married couple died together. A woman and her son were thrown into their yard, house demolished, but thankfully they survived with minimal injuries.

I couldn't hold back my tears anymore. It finally hit me. Yes, it had been sad all along, but now it was real. I glanced over at my sleeping daughter and big tears of guilt began to fall. I was angry because my baby cried tonight?? What do I have to be mad about? These stories happened to real people, and it's only by the grace of God it isn't our family's picture all over Facebook tonight. Lord, please forgive my selfish heart! And wrap your loving arms around these hurting families. Help me to reach out to others and show them love and compassion. I pray that people can see You in me, and that You will be glorified in everything I do.