Dear Mama

Recently I went to a wedding shower and instead of signing a guest book at the door, the hostesses had each guest write a piece of marriage advice on a slip of paper. Not knowing the bride very well, I kept it simple, but real, and scribbled down, "Seek God first in everything you do... No matter how small it may seem." I folded it up and added it to the basket.

As I sat in my chair waiting for the shower to begin, I started thinking of all the things I could've written. Drew and I have a wonderful marriage and I like to think I'm full of marital wisdom. Ha! But in all actuality, I'm not qualified to give marriage advice. I just know what works for us, and it's nothing fancy. Just love. Love with your whole heart and prove it by serving each other. Wake up every day thinking of something special you can do for your spouse. 

All of that got me to thinking about what if this had been a baby shower instead of a wedding shower? What advice would I have written down for a first time mom, or even to myself? Lord willing, if we're blessed with another baby, maybe something I could go back and reread? Or perhaps something that would just serve as a reminder when it's been a particularly difficult day? 

It would go a little something like this...
 

Olivia - 2010

  

Charlotte - 2014

 

Sadie - 2015

Don't rush to get out of the hospital. Nobody ever enjoys being in the hospital. The beds are terribly uncomfortable. The towels are entirely too small and scratchy to actually dry you off. The food is eh. You have what feels like 20 wires and doohickeys hooked up to you making it difficult to even roll over in the bed. Not to mention the lack of sleep due to the constant flow of family and friends who are dying to get their hands on your new little one. But try to enjoy it. There's such excitement in the newness of those first hours of your baby's life! Your hormones may be a little crazy, but you feel a joy like no other and everyone wants to talk about how beautiful your new bundle is. Relish in it. Enjoy letting people take care of you because as soon as you get home, it's back to reality. The dishes and laundry are no respecter of exhausted mamas. (And neither are your other children!)

Olivia

 

Hold her too much. Throw those books, documents, and extensive research articles out the window. You know, the ones about frequently laying your baby down so they won't become too attached? I say hold your baby as much as you can. She will never be as young as she is today. Tomorrow she will be a little bigger and most likely doing something new that she's never done before. The amount of time that she's a floppy little newborn is so brief. Hold her tight and take in that sweet baby smell. The one that my husband refers to as "Baby Johnson." Run your fingers across her ears and arms and feel those soft baby hairs that haven't fallen off yet. Curl up in the recliner and catch a cheesy Lifetime movie while she sleeps on your chest, and maybe even doze off to la-la-land with her. Time flies by all too quickly and babies grow entirely too fast. Enjoy every cuddle. Every snuggle. Every whimper. Every coo.

Sadie

 Take way too many pictures. My picture taking drives my husband crazy, and I keep telling him that he'll appreciate it one day. I don't think he does yet, but I'm determined to prove him wrong. It's amazing how fast your baby will change! It doesn't take long for her cheeks to start filling out, her little neck muscles get stronger and she's no longer a little bobble head, and her sleepy unintentional grins turn into big happy smiles. Cherish each stage of her life and don't be afraid to document them all! Pick a couple of your favorites to share on Facebook, and no one has to know that you secretly have hundreds of pictures exactly like them stored on your computer. Mama, if it's special to you, that's all that matters!

  

Olivia

Put the phone down while she nurses. This is one I have to remind myself. Sometimes I do pretty good at it but there are times I think she just uses me as a pacifier and I need some entertainment! Thankfully my body was born to be a milk cow and I've never had to struggle to feed my baby. I've always had an abundance and all three of my babies have been terrific eaters. Don't be afraid to stare at your baby while she eats. Watch her as her little nose wrinkles, lock eyes with her when she gazes up at you, touch her chubby little fingers as they grasp on to your skin. Pay attention to the little things... Those fluttering eyelashes, the way she folds her hands almost as if she's praying, and how she stretches out like a starfish when she's full and had enough. Soak it up. Breathe in those moments, for they will be over all too soon. In the beginning she'll depend on you for every meal, to survive. But before long she'll only need you before naps or bedtime, and then eventually not at all. Enjoy those sweet bonding moments that only the two of you can experience. 

 

Don't stress over your weight. I'm not saying ignore your health, just don't let your weight consume your mind. This is a daily struggle for me. And listen, I am the LAST person on this planet who feels like she has any right to even discuss health! I definitely don't always make the most health conscious decisions, but it's something I'm working on. It's the reason I get up at 4:34 every morning to go run the farm road at 5:00 with my friends. And I know 4:34 is such an odd time but I just can't bring myself to set my alarm for 4:30. I need those 4 extra minutes! I want my girls to know that I exercise and try to make health{ier} food choices, but I also want them to know its okay to indulge in pizza and ice cream sometimes too. There are so many more important things in this world than being a size 2, and your kids know this! Kids couldn't care less about what size jeans their mom can or can't get buttoned, so don't let your extra baby weight get you down. Your husband and kids love YOU, no matter what the scale says! 

Charlotte

 

Don't rush them to grow up. This happens all on its own without us speeding up the process. When I had my first daughter, I was always ready for her to do the next big thing... Sitting, walking, talking, potty training, etc. And she did do some of those things pretty early in life because I wanted her to be "advanced." By the time I had my second (and especially with my third), my thinking had drastically changed. I no longer rush them to accomplish the next feat. I just want them to be little. Be my baby a little while longer! 

We have certainly been blessed with three precious darling girls. And by no means am I a parenting expert, but I have figured out a thing or two along the way. Like which things are important and which things really don't matter at all. I try to enjoy each day with my girls. They aren't all sunshine and rainbows, believe me. But I'd say we have it pretty good around here! I'm so thankful for my family of five and look forward to a day when that number grows a little more!