Sadie Elise Baker

I've come to accept the fact that my days of consistent blogging are over. There's just no time for it, and that's ok because it means my time is filled up with something better. My kids. All three of them.

I wanted to share Sadie's story so I don't forget. Sometimes I like to go back and read their birth stories just to relive the excitement and newness of those days. There's nothing better than bringing a new life into this world. 

On Wednesday, September 23rd, I had my 38 week checkup with Dr. Watson. I had gotten sick that morning and mentioned it to her but she assured me it was normal (something I already knew.) She checked me but I hadn't dilated at all, no sign of thinning, and baby was still very high. I was actually relieved at all that because Drew had to be out of town that night and all the next day. 

That afternoon I picked Livy up from Annie's and we went to get pedicures. When we got home I wasn't feeling very good. I felt sick to my stomach and was having some contractions, but I knew they were only Braxton Hicks. I texted Drew all evening wishing he was home. I was just nervous about not feeling good with him being so far away. 

Thankfully we made it through the night just fine but I felt terrible on Thursday. My stomach was hard as a rock. There was hardly any relief like you get between contractions. It was rock hard all day long. I had a hard time feeling the baby move which was stressing me out. Not to mention having to take care of Livy and Charlotte (who still needs me for so much!) 

I was in tears by that afternoon. I was ready for Drew to get home from his meetings and to figure out why I felt so bad. By 4pm I had convinced myself to call Dr. Watson's nurse. I just wanted to hear her say all was normal. But by the time I called, their office was closed and they had gone home for the day. 

Livy had dance at 5:30, so I loaded the kids up and we headed to dance. We actually passed Drew on the way and he offered to turn around but I assured him I'd be fine. We were out of milk so I was just going to run in Walgreens while she was at ballet, pick her up, then we'd be home for the evening. 

I had a lot of contractions while we were out and I even texted Drew about it. I think my exact words were I've had about 48,000 contractions since we left home. Ha!

By the time we got home I could tell the contractions were becoming a little more intense. I started timing them out of curiosity... I wasn't sure if they were still Braxton Hicks or if they were the real thing. They were between 5-7 minutes apart. So I started thinking this might be real.

I decided to go take a bath to see if that would change anything. Nope. They were now 5 minutes apart. I got out and told Drew these might actually be real contractions. An hour or so went by and when I went to the bathroom I noticed there was some pink on the toilet paper. I decided to call Labor & Delivery in El Dorado to get their opinion on if/when I should come over. 

I explained everything and the nurse said it was completely up to me. I hated to drive over there just to be sent back home so I decided to wait it out a little longer. We decided it might be a good idea to get some bags packed so I tried to pack the baby's bag and just couldn't. I was having too many contractions. So I laid on the bed while I told Drew what to pack. 

He put the girls in bed and I was still having contractions. I told him I had half a mind to go on over there just so they could check me out and see if I was actually in labor. 

About 5 minutes later, I felt something pop and it hurt! Drew knew immediately something was different by my reaction. He asked if my water broke and I said "I don't think so. Nothing came out?" I got up to go to the bathroom and when I sat down it all came out. I said "Drew, that's not pee. We better go to the hospital." Then I looked in the toilet and realized it was filled with bright red blood. I knew something wasn't right. 

I got dressed while Drew called for his parents to come stay with the girls. I called the nurse back and she said we needed to come right then. 

We had just turned off our road when she called me back and said we better just go to Magnolia hospital just to be safe. I called Magnolia's hospital to fill them in and let them know we were on our way. By the time I got up to a room, the contractions were steadily becoming more intense and closer together. The nurse checked me once I got settled in bed, and I was 2-3cm. I told her how fast I tend to labor so she'd be prepared.

Before I went into labor, I had pretty much convinced myself that I did not want any pain medication. The recovery with Charlotte was so easy and I was determined to do it naturally again. But after a few more contractions, I looked at Drew and said, "I want that epidural." He said, "Are you sure? Think about that easy recovery..." I cut him off. I said, "You think about recovery. I'm getting an epidural!!!" The nurse said that they actually do spinals, where you go completely numb from the waist down. That sounded wonderful!

I was beginning to feel a lot of pressure during the contractions and I told the nurse she better check me again. Now I was 4-5cm, and thankfully the lady with the goods was on her way! When she walked in I asked, "Are you my angel?" Ha! The nurse checked me one more time and I was 7cm. As soon as I got the spinal, I laid down and my feet started to tingle. I had one more contraction that I could feel, but it didn't hurt. After that, I seriously could not feel a thing!

Maybe 10-15 minutes later, the nurse checked me one more time and said I was fully dilated and it was time to push! While they were scurrying around preparing for the baby, Drew was holding my hand and I asked, "Is this real? I mean, I'm not dreaming am I??" It was all happening so fast!

The doctor told me when it was time to push, and to be honest, I couldn't tell if I was pushing or not! I felt absolutely no pain! I pushed about 3 times, and she was out!

But as soon as she came out, there was blood everywhere. I could tell by the doctors' and nurses' reactions that something wasn't right. I looked down at Sadie who was covered in blood. She had a healthy cry, but I could tell she was gurgling in between cries. The nurses immediately took her and started syphoning blood out of her by a tube down her nose. I heard the doctor say that he thought it was a placental abruption.

They said Sadie had swallowed a lot of blood, but other than that she was completely healthy. It took a while for them to get all the blood out of her and to get me all fixed up. But after about 45 minutes or so, I finally got to hold my sweet Sadie. My third little girl. Drew had the biggest smile on his face, and I had tears in my eyes. I laid there and thanked God repeatedly for this healthy baby. I knew things could've gone so wrong with this delivery, but He protected us.

Sadie weighed 8 pounds, 1 ounce, and was 20.5 inches long. She was stunningly beautiful!

Two days after we brought her home, she had a doctor visit to follow up on her jaundice. Long story short, she was extremely jaundiced so we had to spend 2 more nights in the hospital. That was tough. I just wanted to be at home and enjoy being a family of five but instead Sadie and I had to stay in the hospital while Drew and the girls were at home. I had to feed Sadie every 2 hours day and night to help the jaundice go down. It was very tiring, physically and emotionally! But after 3 days we finally got to come home! 

A Third Blessing

I wrote this almost a year ago. It was about a week after we found out we were pregnant with Sadie and for some reason I just never posted it. So here it is now...

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I cannot even begin to describe the excitement and joy that has filled my heart.

I used to dream about a day when we might be "surprised" by a positive pregnancy test but in the back of my mind I never thought it would be possible. I had to use Clomid to get pregnant with Olivia, then I went through 23 months of infertility struggles to get pregnant with Charlotte. Those 23 months were filled with multiple doctors, medications, shots (some were even self-given), a miscarriage, and 2 IUI attempts. It was so heartbreaking. I've written about it before so I won't go back through all the details, but it was tough. But finally, on Mother's Day 2013, we got pregnant with Charlotte!

I say all of this to support my thinking that I really never thought we'd be able to have a baby on our own. And I was ok with that. In fact, Drew and I had already started weighing our options about baby #3. I was due for an annual check-up in March so I was planning on asking my doctor then what she would suggest we do. Maybe start off with Clomid again? Or just cut to the chase and head straight to the infertility doctor in Shreveport where we had our IUIs done?

After having Charlotte, we were open to having another baby. Of course we wanted one... not too soon, but if the Lord blessed us with another baby we would've been thrilled, no matter the timing! And then nothing happened, which wasn't surprising given my history, and I was also still breastfeeding which tends to lessen your chances of getting pregnant. I would sporadically take pregnancy tests just to "make sure" I wasn't pregnant and after several negative tests, I just stopped taking them. It brought back lots of memories of one negative test after another when trying after Olivia and I was determined not to beat myself up with grief like I did back then.

I had one cycle in December and that was it. Nothing since then, which also wasn't surprising. That's very normal for me so I never gave it a second thought.

Last Sunday we ate lunch with some friends at a Mexican restaurant after church and then came home to get ready for the annual Youth Bake Sale that night. The entire time I was baking my cake I was having horrible chest pains. It hurt all throughout my chest and even spread to my shoulders and down my arms a little... it was actually sort of scary. It would not go away! I finally went and laid down in bed to get some relief and I told Drew about it. He said,

"It's probably just heartburn from lunch."
"No, it can't be heartburn. I only get that when I'm pregnant."

Then said, "Alright!!" And tried to fist bump me.
"Listen, I would love to fist bump you over that, but I can tell you right now that's not possible!"

A little while later Drew left for church and I was in the kitchen finishing up my cake. I kept thinking about what he said. Heartburn. Honestly, I've never had it when I wasn't pregnant, and I just couldn't shake the thought. I knew I had a couple of tests still in the bathroom drawer and I thought what the heck!? I'll take one just to clear the air and get it off my mind. It'll be negative like it usually is and I'll go about my business. No big deal.

As soon as those 3 little drops hit the test and the results started to creep up the strip, I immediately saw a dark red line. And then another red line. 2 lines? What in the world? Like an idiot, I checked the box again to make sure I was reading this thing right! It was positive. My brain automatically started thinking of reasons why this had to be a false positive. I think I was just too scared to get excited! I had one more test left in the drawer so I quickly tore it open and tested it too, just to make sure the first wasn't a fluke. Same thing... 2 dark red lines!

Boy, then I really started having chest pains! Ha! It was such a mixture of emotions. Total shock, joy, happiness, and a little disbelief. I think my brain freaked out for a little while. I knew I had to tell Drew. I couldn't just call him and it was way too important to text, and I couldn't wait one more minute!! So I just loaded Charlotte up in the car (Livy was at Pappy and Annie's), grabbed the positive tests, and drove straight to the church to find Drew.

The whole way I prayed,

"Lord... thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you! Wait. Is this real? Lord, if this is real, thank you! If this isn't real... no, it's real. Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

Drew met me at the car and I said,

"So I figured out why my chest was hurting so bad..." and I held out the tests in my hand.
"What is that??"
"What does it look like?"
I could see his wheels turning verrrrry slowly and then he got it. "Really?"
"Yep!!!"
"Really??"
"Yes!!!"
"Seriously???"
"YES!!!!!"
"Man, that's awesome!!"

Then we sat there in the parking lot giggling and searching for words... with our 12 month old in the back seat! Who will now be a big sister?!

I tell ya... I am SO EXCITED! I really feel like we've defied all odds here. We got pregnant on the very first try while I'm still breastfeeding. I really can't grasp how it happened so so easily this time around. Thanks be to God, that's for sure!

I feel a little like the father from the book of Mark. The father asked Jesus if He could heal his demon possessed son...
23Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth.
24And straightway the father of the child cried out, and said with tears, Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief.

How many times have I thought that exact same thing? I believe, but help my unbelief. Lord, I know You can, I'm just not sure if You will. In this instance, He can and He did. I don't feel worthy of being blessed this much but I am ever so grateful and thankful!

Charlotte's 1st Steps!

I actually wrote this a month ago and apparently just forgot to post it! Oops!

....


Yesterday morning, we were in Charlotte's room taking pictures for her birthday invitations. I set up a little backdrop with wrapping paper and had gotten a few shots of her sitting in front of it.

She can stand up by herself if she's leaning against something so I propped her up against the backdrop to get some pictures of her standing up. She was standing there smiling and out of nowhere she just started walking to me! She took about 3 or 4 steps and made it all the way to me!!! I was screaming, Livy was screaming, and Charlotte was just a squealing and laughing. 

Somehow I managed to take this picture of her in the midst of the excitement. I was so shocked! I couldn't believe it! 

When Livy was her age all she wanted to do was hold someone's hands and walk around but Charlotte has taken absolutely no interest in walking at all. As soon as I try to walk with her he just sits down. So when she just took off walking towards me it was such a surprise! 

She's taken a couple steps here and there since then but nothing like that one time. 

 

Be My Baby

Somehow I'm constantly amazed at the things Charlotte does... like I haven't raised a little girl before? With Olivia, I remember I was always getting her to try new stuff and pushing her to do the next thing... crawling, walking, talking, etc. But with Charlotte, I've found myself just wanting her to "be my baby."

 

Sometimes I start to feel bad about it - like I'm somehow giving her the short end of the stick. But then I snap back to reality and realize she is doing just fine!

 

Today I left her playing in the living room while I went to the bedroom to start sorting out the laundry. When I came back in the room I found her sitting in the Minnie Mouse chair, with a bracelet on, and playing with her baby doll. It was like I was looking at a toddler. I couldn't believe my eyes!

 



She is really growing up too fast! I miss her being my newborn, but at the same time it is so nice now that she's getting older. Just this past week, she's really started playing with Livy. She follows her everywhere and wants to do everything Livy does. And thankfully, Livy is usually very good at obliging. It definitely makes my life a little easier. I'm able to get things done, like laundry, dishes, and just general cleaning. They'll play in the playroom together for a really long time!

I'm so thankful for my girls, and looking forward to Charlotte's big birthday party in a couple weeks!

Mommy Daughter Day

On Friday morning, we dropped Charlotte off with Pappy and Annie (and Livy bawled her eyes out because "she was gonna miss Charlotte so much!") then Livy and I headed off to Texarkana. 

She had an appointment with an ENT doctor. She keeps getting strep throat about every 2-3 months... 5 times in less than a year and a half. So her doctor wanted an ENT doctor to check her out and see if a tonsillectomy was necessary. 

He said she was borderline on "needing" the surgery so he wants to give her a little more time. If she keeps getting strep every few months then he said he would recommend doing the surgery. But if she goes several months without getting it, then he said it probably isn't necessary yet. 

That was a relief to me. I'm all for it IF it's absolutely what she needs but I certainly don't want to put her (or Drew and I) through that unless we have to. The thought of her being wheeled down the hall on a hospital bed to be put under anesthesia and have her tonsils removed is almost more than I can handle. I can't think about it!

After her appointment I let her choose where to eat lunch. She wanted cheese dip so we went to Chili's. We shared some queso and a chocolate cake with ice cream. 

Then we did lots of shopping! I had some Christmas cash and gift cards that were begging to be spent. Who am I to say no? :) Livy was an excellent shopping buddy. It's not often I get to shop without Charlotte so normally I'm in a rush... Get in, get what I need, and get out. But yesterday we took our time, tried clothes on, and spent all our quarters on bouncy balls and horsey rides. 

The whole day Livy worried about Charlotte. 

"I miss Charlotte."

"I wonder what Charlotte is doing right now?"

"I wish I could play with Charlotte."

I thought it was so sweet how she missed her little sister. Between stores I let her call to check on Charlotte and as soon as Pappy answered the phone Livy asked,

"Is Charlotte having fun over there?"

And of course she was. She was at the fun house, after all. 

I had such a fun day with my big girl... And it was pretty nice coming home to my little girl too! 

Chicken Spinach Alfredo

We decided to take turns being the pizza chef and this week was all me. I decided to do what I'm calling my Chicken Spinach Alfredo pizza. Drew said if I owned a restaurant I'd have to come up with something a little less boring. He suggested The Green Haired Chicken. Eh.

I rolled out the dough and then I spread on my homemade alfredo sauce (which I also learned from PW). Have I mentioned she's saved my life in the kitchen?

Next I added spinach that I cooked in a pan with a little butter, salt, and a tad bit of lemon juice.

Then I put down some sliced tomato.

Next came the cooked chicken seasoned with olive oil, Chicken Tickler, and Seasoned salt.

Then I topped it all with lots of mozzarella cheese.

Baked it in the oven at 500° for 12 minutes... and voila!

And can I just say YUM?! It was so delish!

Pepperoni

Since I discovered Pioneer Woman's pizza dough, we decided to make Pizza Night a thing.

We started last Tuesday night with just a plain old pepperoni pizza to test out the pizza dough... and it was a hit! The dough recipe is awesome and so easy! A lot of times homemade pizza dough is really thin and crispy (not that anything is wrong with thin crust) but this dough is just like a hand-tossed pizza. It's great!

So since it turned out so well Drew had the idea of making a different pizza every week. I thought this would be a fun little way of keeping up with our creations. And when we run out of ideas, I can go back and repeat some of our favorites.

 

 

Little Sister

 

If I had to pick one word to describe Miss Charlotte these days it would be...

 

BUSY.

 

Oh man, is she busy. It's tough to get her to stay still long enough to get her picture. Of course, she thinks she needs to do everything Olivia does. Sometimes that makes my life a little more difficult, but most of the time it's totally cute!

 

Here she is sporting her first ponytail...

 

And here she is making a bigger mess helping me with laundry. This girl can pull everything out of a drawer/box/cabinet in about 3 seconds flat. I'm sure that skill will come in handy at some point in her life... although at this time I'm at a loss for what that might be. She helped me sort through her socks, tights, and bloomers yesterday and she meant business! As soon as I put one in her basket, she would pick it up and throw it over her head!

 

As busy as she is though, she always has time for her mama. I'm still her #1 (she hasn't quite discovered how cool her dad is yet). I love her sweet snuggles! She lays her head on my shoulder and pats my back. I also can't get enough of her chubby little hands reaching up for me. When I come in her room after her nap, she reaches up for me with a big grin. When she's done with her snack in her highchair, she reaches for me with mushy food stuck to her fingers. When I walk in the church nursery to pick her up after services, she reaches for me and then quickly waves goodbye to her friends. I love that she needs me.

 

It's so hard to believe she'll be ONE year old in just a few weeks. Charlotte's first year has gone by so incredibly fast!

 

My Girls

Well I knew it would happen eventually. All good things must come to an end, right?

My husband left me.

...to go back to work! Ha! I'm so sad! He was off work for a solid 2 weeks during Christmas break and I loved every minute of it. I LOVE when he's home. I just love spending time with him. I'd follow him to work if I could. He probably wouldn't appreciate that though.

I'm missing him today. Livy's definitely missing him today. And we'll just say Charlotte is missing him too. But it is nice to get back into a routine. Not that we have daily schedules or anything like that. But when Drew's home, I usually slack on all my chores because I'd rather just hang out as a family. I've been trying to de-clutter all the Christmas mess. It's a long process!

I'm so thankful for the opportunity to stay home with my girls every day. I'm super thankful we don't have to wake up early every morning and get ready for school/work. Big props to all the moms who do it! I can't imagine leaving them every day.

The girls are both taking naps at the same time so I thought I'd squeeze in time for a post. But now I must go wash those dishes! I really shouldn't put it off any longer.